Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives

Boundaries with Kids When to Say Yes When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives You want your kids to grow up into healthy adults You want to see them take responsibility for their behavior their values their lives But maybe you ve discovered that simply telling them to do the

  • Title: Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives
  • Author: Henry Cloud John Townsend
  • ISBN: 9780310243151
  • Page: 258
  • Format: Paperback
  • You want your kids to grow up into healthy adults You want to see them take responsibility for their behavior, their values, their lives But maybe you ve discovered that simply telling them to do the right thing isn t enough From toddler tantrums to teenage temptations, you ve got to help them take ownership of their behavior, feelings, and attitudes But how EstablisYou want your kids to grow up into healthy adults You want to see them take responsibility for their behavior, their values, their lives But maybe you ve discovered that simply telling them to do the right thing isn t enough From toddler tantrums to teenage temptations, you ve got to help them take ownership of their behavior, feelings, and attitudes But how Establish healthy boundaries Boundaries are the bedrock of good relationships, maturity, safety, and growth for your children and for you.Boundaries With Kids will help you prepare your kids to assume the responsibility for their own lives Drawing on principles from the Bible, the authors of the award winning best seller Boundaries help yourecognize the boundary issues underlying child behavior problemsset boundaries and establish consequences with kidsget out of the nagging trapstop controlling your child and instead help your child to develop self controlapply ten laws of boundaries to parentingtake six practical steps for implementing boundaries with your kids.Drs Henry Cloud and John Townsend show you how to bring control to an out of control family life How to set limits and still be a loving parent How to define legitimate boundaries for your family And above all, how to instill in your children the kind of godly character that is the foundation for healthy, productive adult living.

    One thought on “Boundaries with Kids: When to Say Yes, When to Say No to Help Your Children Gain Control of Their Lives”

    1. I've been struggling with my 8-year-old. He's very independent which often translates to bossy. If he doesn't get what he wants he will have a tantrum. He likes to argue. Things I liked in this book . . . . You and your child each have a different job. Your child's job is to test your resolve, so he can learn about reality. A parent's job is to withstand the test, including anger, pouting, tantrums and much more.Consequences transfer the need to be responsible from the parent to the child.The fo [...]

    2. This was one of those books that encouraged me to keep going on as we've started, and that gave me some good ideas about how to do that. I like their concept that in order to give your kids self-control, you've got to exercise it yourself. You have to be clear and firm about what they may and may not do, and with those boundaries absolutely inviolable, you then have the space to be very compassionate towards your frustrated kids. If the rules aren't up for debate, then you can sympathize with ki [...]

    3. I received this book from a friend who has two daughters (ages 3 yrs and 6 mos), and she highly recommend I read it some point during my daughter's toddlerhood. I enjoyed the ideas, especially these quotes:Children are not born with boundaries. Too little freedom to gain experience, the child forever remains a child. Too much freedom, the child is in danger of hurting him/herself.If parents give without boundaries, children learn to feel entitled and become self-centered and demanding. If parent [...]

    4. I found this book to be more helpful for me than the regular Boundaries book. I realized in my parenting that I was protecting my children from natural consequences for their behaviord how doing this really is doing my children a disservice (but while I was doing it I thought I was being loving)! It was an EXTREMELY HELPFUL PARENTING book and in a world with an "entitlement" mentality, it is a MUST READ!

    5. This is an excellent parenting book. It was highly recommended by a mentor and it did not disappoint. The summary of this book could be: How to begin with the end in mind, the end result being a child who becomes an adult who can deal with the world's realities in a healthy and mature way.I most was challenged by the chapter on character growth, and many of the other chapters reminded me of the "tough love" concept in a lot of Jim Dobson's books. Loving with boundaries means consistency in paren [...]

    6. An avid fan of the original text "Boundaries," I was perhaps, overly optimistic about this book. It is excellent but not a huge leap from the original. While the context of boundaries in raising kids is very helpful it is fairly generic. Much of the book seemed to be aimed at children who are at least school aged which is helpful only if you have not established solid boundaries before that time - in which case the original book would probably suffice. I was hopeful for something more "preventat [...]

    7. I cringe at religious jargon, but I thought this book was worth a read. When I was able to overlook some of the language, I found myself using some of the information in daily conversation with my daughter. Some of what the authors proposed I had a hard time with (intrinsic motivation develops out of extrinsic motivation, for example), but it was a helpful book and worth reading. The line I have used most is, "You are responsible FOR yourself, and you are responsible TO others." My child feels r [...]

    8. This book is better than the original. There is less straining to prove the metaphor of boundaries as Scriptural and more practical ideas and scripts. I like the scripts a lot.I think the metaphor of "boundaries" is a good one. It's much less combative than the weird twist that some give of "shepherding" and "control." This is assertive, not aggressive or passive aggressive.

    9. Full of wisdom, but dense. Best slowly digested over time. The book left me grateful that I was raised with clear boundaries (I knew when to say yes and no, what was right and wrong, and felt in control of my life), and I am inspired to continue to pass on structure, expectations, and the peace that comes from them to my children. That's the goal, anyway! ;)

    10. This is an excellent book on parenting. The idea in the book is to allow and encourage children to freely make their own choices, while at the same time having clear boundaries and consequences for when the children make the wrong choice. The goal is to produce young adults that make good choices for themselves. If children are "forced" to comply at an early age, then they will likely not make wise choices once their parents can no longer force compliance on them.I was able to use a lot of the a [...]

    11. Having read many books on parenting, I found Boundaries with Kids refreshing. Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend teach practical techniques for allowing a child to experience the consequences of his actions and decide for himself if those actions were worth the consequences, which is really how real life works.Even though I have found the things I learned in this book to work well, I haven't found it to be easy, nor is that promised in the book. In fact, it is very hard work, as the authors point out, t [...]

    12. A wonderful book for parents of young kids, helping you focus on the adults you want them to become (without making them grow up too soon). It helps you identify the character qualities they could learn now - while it's easier - to help them be fulfilled and happy later on, good habits they can already establish in areas like responsibility, respect, motivation, proactivity etc. And as well as helping you help your kids, it makes you a better person and a better parent too. I think you really ca [...]

    13. This is a book that is great to keep referring back to. With teenagers, every day can present a new challenge. It is helpful to know that the kid in your home really isn't from another planet. Instead they are very normal. The best part is the emphasis on natural consequences, and also how to set up consequences that fit the crime.It is from a christian perspective, but, would certainly benefit anyone who reads it, in their parenting skills.

    14. It's always hard to say "no" to your sweet little one. After all, you want them to be happy and content. But, allow your child to feel the consequences of their own behavior and to understand that boundaries do exist is really the only way to prepare him to become an independent, happy child and then adult. This is a great book to use for guidelines in discipline.

    15. Great book for parents to read and learn from to make better choices with the goal of raising their kids successfully. I read this while rasing my girls, and I give this book alot of credit toward how well my girls grew up to be independent, young ladies. Easy reading and it makes so much sense. You'll wonder why you didn't read it sooner.

    16. Such good information. I already want to re-read it. Much easier to read than it will be to implement, I'm sure, but boundaries are so necessary in all areas of life. Great practical examples and how not to respond types of scenarios in the book too.

    17. sounds good so far. Just through the introduction. Hoping the writing is less pretentious than the original. These are the things we read because we know they're right and help us get to where He can change us.

    18. I have literally been reading this book for a year. It has never taken me this long to finish a book but I need to make myself understood. It wasn't the context of the book. I gave it 5 stars and it's worth every one. It took me so long because if I got out of it for a bit it was hard for me to get reacquainted with the subject. Now that I have explained, I can get onto my review which will have nothing but praise for the book.Several years ago I read Cloud and Townsend's book Boundaries and tha [...]

    19. Parenting happens. The question is whether or not you are going to set a context in your home where it happens on purpose. If so, Boundaries with Kids is a great resource.Based on the major principles of their best-seller 'Boundaries,' this book contextualizes and fleshes out their teaching in a parenting context. It is fairly idiot-proof. They spell out the details of every principle with first-hand stories, instances from their counseling practices, and age-appropriate suggestions. From toddle [...]

    20. Every parent should read this book. I read this as part of a mom's group, so we read and discussed each chapter, and I got more out of this book in terms of parenting than I've gotten out of any other parenting book I've ever read. This book was simple, practical, and full of helpful information. This book has literally changed the way I interact with my kids and I can see improvement in them.The authors are Christian and they take basic Biblical truths and apply them to the role of parent, and [...]

    21. I loved the regular Boundaries book. It profoundly changed my life. So I picked up this book because the kid chapter in the main boundaries book was so good. This book just goes into more detail of how this plays out with different scenarios encountered with kids. It has really helped us in our household to parent in a way that is training our kids how to make good choices and owning the consequences of what they choose. It is similar to Parenting with Love and Logic and Loving Your Kids on Purp [...]

    22. I have read many books on children and parenting, and many of them them have been very helpful. But this is the most helpful book on parenting that I have read so far. I'm sure I will be reading it again, and referring back to it often.I read the book "Boundaries" by the same authors about a year ago, and it was life-changing. And now this book has changed me again. I'm so grateful for these books. The authors are Christian and write from a biblical perspective, using scriptures and a Christian [...]

    23. A year ago I began the search for the "perfect" parenting book. I bought and read Dobson's The Strong Willed Child, Kurchinka's Raising Your Spirited Child, and Tobias's You Can't Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded). These were all helpful in their own way, but none of them fulfilled my search the way Cloud and Townsend's Boundaries with Kids has. This book applies to the particular task of parenting the principles laid out in their book Boundaries, which was years ago recommended to me by a friend [...]

    24. This book was recommended to me by my counselor as a book that she had read while raising her children. It is excellent. I plan on reading it again and again as my children grow up. It is a good resource for parents with children of any age. I was concerned at the beginning of the book that it would simply be a rehash of The Boundaries book, only with parents as the target audience. It isn't. It does go over some of the main concepts again, then expounds on them for applying them to parenting. T [...]

    25. Take aways --"Sounds (seems) like you're having a bit of trouble, but I will wait to help you until you ask."Adress issues that involve honesty, responsibility, caring and morality. Give more latitude within limits to hairstyle, music and room sloppiness."One of the greatest gifts you can give your child is to help build in her a tendency toward activity. To be active is to take initiative, to make the first move. A child needs to understand that the solution to her problems and the answer to he [...]

    26. The information in this book is stuff I sort of already know, but it is nice to read it and reinforce it. They go on and on about how kids without boundaries will grow up to be such and such (insecure, unable to form healthy relationships, etc.), but there is not a lot of practical advice. It comes from a Christian point of view, and Bible verses and God references are peppered throughout the book.

    27. I will definitely come back to this again and again while my children are growing and learning. Many good points to ponder. I thought I was doing better at boundaries than I really am. This made several things a lot clearer.

    28. Parts of this book were helpful and profound; parts felt repetitive and over-stated. I particularly enjoyed the concrete advice (rather than simply theoretical) and the plethora or scripture references and contexts for all the information provided.

    29. Thought provoking.I can honestly see where I contribute to my childs irresponsibility. This realization brings hope as I have actionable steps to help.

    30. One of the best parenting books I've read. I wish I would have read this when my kids were young - because I'm sure I would have gone back to it again and again for some good reinforcements.

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