Cutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents

Cutting Loose An Adult s Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents With than years of experience in psychotherapy Dr Halpern enables the adult child to understand his or her parent and foster a positive healthy adult relationship

  • Title: Cutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents
  • Author: Howard M. Halpern
  • ISBN: 9780553207668
  • Page: 286
  • Format: Unknown Binding
  • With than 35 years of experience in psychotherapy, Dr Halpern enables the adult child to understand his or her parent and foster a positive, healthy adult relationship.

    One thought on “Cutting Loose: An Adult's Guide to Coming to Terms with Your Parents”

    1. Recognizing the "songs and dances" which entangle us within our families and learning new music and new dances or even to just let go and refuse to dance in order to survive and grow. This is the best of the self-help books I've encoutnered over time -- practical and non-judgemental and very workable solutions.

    2. I recommend reading this book after reading Susan Forward's "Toxic Parents" to get a nice combination of understanding toxic family dynamics and developing specific strategies to interact with family going forward.

    3. This was a recommended read from my psychotherapist that told me how to not continue in the familial role I grew up in. Of course, my family of origin said I was self-centered to not continue as the family scapegoat. I need healthy boundaries. I had internalized a lot of guilt and shame to play the scapegoat and wasn't at all happy in that role.

    4. "We're adults. We've got the credentials and scars to show for it." Such beginnings the analysis by Halpern and his no BS conversation with the reader. He uses his metaphor of the dance, the behaviors we exhibit when we're with our family; including dependencies, clownish behavior, feelings of inadequacy and unresolved conflicts. It's a family dance.Really liked Halpern's tackling the idea that your parents are not always the nurturing guiding forces in our life that we'd like. One of the big ta [...]

    5. This book can help you understand (and possibly modify) the toxic family dynamics that so many of us unconsciously fall into when dealing with our parents. Howard refers to these as 'songs and dances', and has over 35 years professional experience in helping people deal with them.He identifies various patterns of 'dance', your mileage may vary and your very own situation may not be represented here - nevertheless, seeing examples of other people dealing with it can help you consider your own sit [...]

    6. There are some good tips in here for dealing with people who you have been around a lot but get in a certain negative role with on a regular basis. It was written in the 70s, so there are some comments about the origin of people's sexuality that may rub you the wrong way. If anyone tries to give you problems about reading this, you should know it basically counsels being respectful and patient and regards the other people's feelings but also counts in your own need to assert yourself and your ow [...]

    7. This was an illuminating book that helped me to see the different toxic ways in which my parents relate to me and I to them as well as the price that I'm paying for it. I will read it again as I keep becoming more and more independent from them, emotionally and financially.

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